LIVING WITH A DESIRE FOR IMPACT

For too long, the enemy has used our desires to make a lasting impact as ammunition against us. “You just want to be seen,” he accuses. “All you want is to build your own reputation. You want a plaque with your name on it on a wall somewhere.” Like most falsehoods, these statements sting because there is a small measure of truth to them. All of us struggle with this in varying degrees. We have all lived with conflicting feelings over this de- sire since we were old enough to verbalize it. In fact, we learned quickly not to verbalize it because it would usually be misun- derstood and criticized. We have learned to keep such thoughts and longings to ourselves. Some of us eventually trained our- selves to not even think that way.

Fortunately, the Lord knows that for which we were created. He dictated the story that demands people to do great things and then planted those desires deep within us. The Holy Spirit witnesses within us as we long to be people who do things sig- nificant in God’s sight. Great things are attainable by those who love God with their whole hearts.

CONCLUSION

against Russia. Surrounded by German troops and under con- stant bombardment, the residents of the historic city hunkered down for the duration. Many wondered how long the city could survive the onslaught of the enemy. Would this continue for days, weeks, months? On that autumn day, many might have feared, but few could have known they would be under the heavy hand of the Nazis for nearly two and a half years.

Within the city, fuel and food reserves were only sufficient to last two months at the most. Life grew hard almost immedi- ately. Public transportation ceased, food was rationed. By the first winter, there was no heat, no water and very little food. A few hundred thousand people were evacuated via a road built across a frozen lakebed, but more than 640,000 would die. Until the siege was fully lifted in January 1944, the city was a picture of tortuous waiting; millions of people waiting for a deliverer to come in the form of a Soviet counter-offensive.

When I read about the siege of Leningrad, it reminded me of the way many people view their Christian walks. Lives that

should be marked with joy and freedom are instead fraught with difficulty and pain. People have the mentality of being under an enemy siege. We vow never to surrender to Satan, yet we suffer with our basic desires remaining unfulfilled. As Leningrad lacked food and electricity, our souls lack fulfillment and we see the enemy as one who can keep us from satisfaction. With this mindset, we become like souls under siege.

If you receive anything from this book, let it be this: life in Christ was never intended to be lived as a besieged soul. It is not a life of just getting by, trying to hang on until the end. While we do look forward to the return of Christ, we also live with the truth that He is alive and His Spirit is within us now. There is a river of superior pleasure designed to be a fountain of life in our inner man if we say yes to it and drink from it vigorously.

God delights in fascinating and exhilarating our hearts. We don’t have to live bored lives. Each day is to be filled with new discoveries. We are not under siege. We can be victorious. Our victory is made tangible as God answers the longings of our hearts now in time and space. He has written the love story of the ages and chosen the perfect context in which longing and fulfillment unite in a beautiful dance. Greatness, intimacy with- out shame, the potential for long-term impact, and the other longings of our hearts, do not lie outside the cities of our hearts, cordoned off by the forces of evil. Certainly, there is a real en- emy and there is a real war going on, but our Commander is well able to keep us supplied and our souls fulfilled.

Not only does God have plans for us to overcome the en- emy, He desires to exhilarate us in love in the presence of the enemy (Psalm 23:5). Most people turn to God as a last resort. They do all they can to fulfill the longings of their hearts with entertainment, possessions or relationships with other broken people, only to find that these create an even greater void. In time, the scaffolding they have built to keep their souls propped up falls apart. Yet God appears in their emptiness. At first their cold hearts cannot even respond, but as the fire of His love softens and warms them, a miracle takes place. Life appears. A

heartbeat is heard. It is perhaps faint at first, but growing in strength and purpose. Over time, they find themselves standing before Him, more fascinated with pure love and truth than they ever were with false fulfillment.

For more than seven years, I have had the privilege of lead- ing the International House of Prayer with Deborah and oth- ers on my leadership team. Even as I write this, the prayer and worship continues. Our weak prayers ascend to the Father and mingle with the prayers of all the saints from all over the world and throughout Church history. Every two hours another wor- ship team steps in to replace the team just before. We were warned that young people simply would not do this, that they would not commit to prayer, and that if they did commit, they wouldn’t keep those commitments. Nevertheless, seven years in, it is the young people who are leading in the prayer room. It is not uncommon for the average age in the room to be around twenty.

It is an incredible blessing to labor alongside young people, old people, single and married people, children, and everyone in between, all of whom have upended their personal lives to be a part of a perpetual solemn assembly. They raise their own financial support as intercessory missionaries. Several hundred are students at the Forerunner School of Ministry, our full-time Bible school, where we endeavor to redefine theological edu- cation in the context of night and day prayer. Hundreds more set aside three or six months of their lives to participate in an internship. They come from every state in the country, a num- ber of nations around the world, and every station in life. They have something in common: they are on the pathway to being fulfilled in and by God.

To say they are set on this path is not to say they don’t have times of emptiness and unmet emotional needs. They struggle with relationships and needs like everyone else, but they have found something most people never find. Having rejected the materialistic and entertainment-driven culture surrounding them, they have found that the longings of their hearts are only

truly fulfilled in knowing and pursuing God. Fortunately, this fulfillment is by no means reserved for the IHOP staff or those who end up moving to Kansas City to be in our 24/7 prayer room. It has been found by millions of others around the world and throughout history.

You may have come to this understanding early in your walk with the Lord, or stumbled into it after a lifetime of pain. How- ever you arrive at this conclusion, you will find what you are looking for when you realize God has placed those longings in your heart as a divine desire; your hunger is a gift from God to draw you to Him. It’s a holy want with a holy fulfillment. Every- thing you really need and want is offered by and found in Him.

Have you pursued the fulfillment of the longings of your heart by chasing after cheap imitations? Has your craving for greatness led to years of self-centered behavior? Has your drive to find intimacy bound you in a pattern of shame? Have you sold your soul at too cheap a price—and too often? The fact that you want your longings fulfilled points to the truth of what I am saying. No one hungers and longs for what does not exist. The good news is that your past failures can really be things of the past, your present can be radically changed, and your fu- ture can be glorious as you seek to find your fulfillment in Jesus, the beautiful God. It is found by continually placing your heart before Him and asking Him to reveal His heart to you. In this, your longings will be progressively fulfilled.

You may have kept yourself from the obvious sinful behav- iors that the multitudes fall into, yet on the inside you are just as dead and unfulfilled. During the siege of Leningrad, just as many people suffered from boredom as hunger. This boredom led to depression as they saw the months go by with no indica- tion that freedom was really coming, that it was, in fact, within their grasp. For those who linger around the fringe of what God wants, I urge you to step in and determinedly seek the fullness. Drawing near to the Father will stir up these desires even as He fulfills them. God’s great plan is for your desire to lead you to Him. Everything He placed within you is meant to bring you

into the fullest, most intimate, most joyful relationship with Him. While it may bring frustration and ache at times, it is a holy frustration, a sacred ache, and God will meet you there. After all, God’s image is stamped on your soul.

Your longings, if you let them, will be what draw you into the Divine. Like separate streams, each of these seven longings is an escort into the eternal ocean of God’s fiery affections. There is nothing more beautiful than when all your longings unite as one holy, raging river of yearning that drives you to God. I re- member when I began to experience this a little more in my own life. I wasn’t primarily looking to friends, food or entertainment to answer the burning cries in my heart; I was looking to God. Though the ache was often painful, I remember thinking, “This is what I was made for. I was made for Love. I was made for God.” Aching and longing is beautiful. It is a gift because this ache is for God alone. I knew God was smiling at me and that it was only a matter of time before He would answer. I felt like I was really living as I was created to live. Even in the delay, before my longings were fulfilled, my spirit was positioned, my heart was alive, and eternity was weighing down on me.

Recently, one of the young ladies at IHOP encouraged a leader with these wise words. “Your desire will be your compass until Jesus comes.” With that thought in mind, grab your Bible, quiet your heart, mind your compass, and begin your journey with the eternal longings of your heart. You were made to long. You were made for God. He will answer.

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