My heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here.

My heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here.

My heart’s in the Highlands, a-chasing the dear,

Chasing the wild dear and following the roe.

My heart’s in the Highlands wherever I go.

Farewell to the Highland’s, farewell for the North,

The birth-place of Valour, the country of Worth;

Wherever I wander, wherever I rove,

The hills of the Highlands for ever I love.

My heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here.

My heart’s in the Highlands, a-chasing the dear,

Chasing the wild dear and following the roe.

My heart’s in the Highlands wherever I go.

Farewell to the mountains, high cover’d with snow;

Farewell to the straths and green valleys bellow;

Farewell to the forest and high-hanging woods;

Farewell to the torrents and loud-pouring floods.

My heart’s in the Highlands, my heart is not here.

My heart’s in the Highlands, a-chasing the dear,

Chasing the wild dear and following the roe.

My heart’s in the Highlands wherever I go.

If I were you

If I were you I wouldn’t waste my time

I wouldn’t sit here drinking all this wine

If I were you I’d think about the days to come

If I were you I wouldn’t waste my time

But you are not me not and never did agree

But just this once, please, take my advice

I’d go out of the town if I were you

I’d look around and find somebody new

I wouldn’t look at letters and old photographs

I’d go out of the town if I were you

If I were you I wouldn’t sit and cry.

I’d realize that all she did was lie

She really wasn’t worth the love you gave to her

If I were you I wouldn’t sit and cry.

I’d pack my bags and leave if I were you

I’d go and join those people in that queue

I’d catch that bus no matter where it’s heading for

I’d pack my bags and leave if I were you.

Major Decisions

How do you like your coffee?

Black! Black!

How do you like your tea.?

With lemon, please.

How do you like your steak?

Medium rare.

How do you like your eggs?

I don't care!

Sunny-side up?

I don't care!

Poached on toast?

I don't care!

Scrambled, with bacon?

I don't care!

Over-easy?

I don't care!

Soft-boiled?

Hard-boiled?

I don't care!

How about an omelet?

I don't care!

Come on, tell me!

This isn't fair.

I told you the truth. I really don't care!

A Bad Day

I overslept and missed my train,

slipped on the sidewalk in the pouring rain,

sprained my ankle, skinned my knees,

broke my glasses, lost my keys,

got stuck in the elevator,

it wouldn't go,

kicked it twice and stubbed my toe,

bought a pen that didn't write,

took it back and had a fight,

went home angry,

locked the door,

crawled into bed,

couldn't take any more.

Personal Questions

Where were you born?

I'd rather not say.

Where are you from?

I'd rather not say.

How tall are you?

How old are you?

How much do you weigh?

I'd rather not say.

How much rent do you pay?

I'd rather not say.

How much do you make?

I'd rather not say.

Why aren't you married?

I'd rather not say.

Why don't you have children?

I'd rather not say.

Where were you last night?

Why weren't you home?

Did you stay out late?

Did you come home alone?

Did you have a good time?

Did you see a good play?

Did you go to a concert?

I'd rather not say.

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