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КАТЕГОРИИ:






THE FAMILY CIRCLE: OLD AGE, DEATH AND BEREAVEMEN




A precise distinction between middle age and old age is virtually impossible to draw. Certainly retirement marks a commonly recognized point of transition for many people, though they may not wish to consider this as the beginning of old age. Within the family a key factor, equally important, is the stage at which the parent–child roles are reversed, when children express their concern for the well-being of their parents by providing emotional or financial support. Often a parent, after the death of a spouse, comes to live with one of the children. Sometimes a child who has become successful provides money for the upkeep of the parents, or surviving parent, even if living elsewhere.

The transition to old age is, of course, not necessarily abrupt and does not necessarily lead to a feeling of alienation, as was once supposed. On the contrary, several sociological studies, notably in the United States, the United Kingdom, and Denmark, have shown that most old people have at least one child living nearby, often only a few minutes' traveling time away. In many Third World countries, where it is customary for parents and children to reside in the same village, if not in the same household, contact between children and elderly parents is even greater. In both traditional and modern cultures, adult children take great responsibility for the welfare of their aged parents. This is true not only in rural areas but also in urban ones, and for all social classes.

The death of a family member affects not only the individuals in the family but also the family unit collectively. The precise difficulties the family faces and the manner in which they cope with them depend on particular circumstances. Nevertheless, a few generalizations can be made with respect to the kinds of problems that frequently develop.

For the family as a whole, one obvious effect is the disruption of normal activities. This in turn may lead to the surviving family members’ gaining greater resolve to face up to their loss collectively. On the other hand, it may lead instead to fragmentation similar to that which follows divorce. Indeed, divorce and death often have similar effects on children. Removal of an authority figure may lead them to take on greater responsibilities in the family, or greater independence, or it may lead instead to family conflicts and a lack of family solidarity. It may also break the remaining ties between brothers and sisters who live apart.

Bereavement has a profound and more individual effect, too, on the surviving spouse. This might be enhanced if the couple were married for most of their lives and particularly if they shared their last years together in isolation from their children. Studies in the United States have shown that, in general, a husband who survives the death of his wife has greater difficulty in coping than a wife who survives the death of her husband. Not only does a surviving husband have to cope with emotional loss but he also has to take on tasks such as cleaning and cooking – which in many modern societies are still usually done by the wife. On the other hand, some sociologists have argued the reverse, that a surviving wife has greater difficulty, owing in part to the larger number of women who live to an advanced age and the resulting greater difficulty they have in finding a new husband.

 

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