RESISTING SELF-PROMOTION

Self-promotion is so much a part of the human experience that we have a difficult time detecting it in our own lives. For many of us, it is as natural as breathing. One of the grand traditions of elementary education is the Line Leader. Most classrooms have some form of this exercise. Children are chosen to be the day’s line leader, perhaps by a prescribed pattern or perhaps at ran- dom. Whatever the method by which they land their role, it is a role they relish. They lead the class in the Pledge of Allegiance, on the walk to the lunchroom, out to recess, and then to the bus waiting area at the end of the day. To their fellow first-graders, they are special for the day. Sometimes they are honored with a

hat or a tiara. Make no mistake about it: this is their day. Heaven help the poor child who falls ill and misses his or her chance to be line leader. The very children who would have cheered them on in their capacity as line leader suddenly begin to jockey for the role.

From first grade to the nursing home, not much changes in human behavior. There are always plenty of people wanting to be line leader at age seven and age seventy and every age in between. On the surface, they might express joy when you’re the line leader, but if you happen to fall sick at lunchtime, theirs will be the first hand raised in hopes of taking the job. None of this is new. Only a few verses after talking with the rich young ruler, Jesus found himself in a discussion with Simon Peter, who was quick to draw a distinction between himself and the rich young ruler. “Jesus,” Simon said, “we have left everything to fol- low you.” He then got to his real point: “What then will there be for us?” Even in expressing his willingness to leave his fishing business behind him, Simon was maneuvering for position. “Re- member, Jesus, we gave it all up…so when is pay day?”

I think there was probably a smile on Jesus’ face when He answered. Not because of Peter’s failings—Jesus knew he would ultimately be a resounding success in ministry—but because Jesus also knew everything Peter would have to go through be- fore he really comprehended the lesson he was about to hear.

But many who are first will be last, and the last first. (Matthew 19:30)

I suspect the disciples all nodded thoughtfully until the mo- ment Jesus turned His back, when they began to compare notes. “What did He say? The first becomes last? The last, first? What is He talking about? He’s got this whole leadership structure upside down!”

They were right about that. Jesus did turn the structure for leadership—indeed, the entire path to greatness—completely upside down with that statement. For centuries, people had

operated in the opposite spirit of this teaching, and for centuries to come they would continue to do so. They would usurp the authority they thought was owed them. They would rush to put themselves in places of leadership rather than wait to be placed there. Just to drive home the point, Jesus reiterated it in the very next chapter.

The last will be first, and the first last. For many are called, but few chosen. (Matthew 20:16)

The calling to greatness is issued to every human being. It is in the potential destiny of each individual to reign with Christ. Jesus knew, however, that many people would not resist the temptation to self-promotion, and by putting themselves in first place during their seventy-year internships, would find them- selves in last place for eternity. As noted, it all comes back to the idea of servanthood prescribed in Matthew 20:26, where Jesus said, “Whoever desires to become great among you, let him be your servant.”

We fail to understand this simple teaching when we make a false assumption that what exists on Earth prior to the Second Coming of Christ is automatically irrelevant and disregarded in the Millennium, as if Jesus has no interest in the posture of our hearts today. While these are two distinct periods of time with unique characteristics and parameters, there exists a dynamic continuity between our behavior in this present life and our roles in the age to come. Our attitudes, our deeds, our charac- ters and much more that we have developed in this age will be carried over to the next.

The thief on the cross who begged for forgiveness in the last moments of his life must have been shocked when he stepped over the line into paradise after Jesus told him he would (Luke 23:43). I imagine this former thief walking the streets of gold, shocked at the robe he was given and the greetings he received from the angels. When he asked what it was all about, one of the angels told him, “You don’t understand—you’re a king here.”

The thief looked at the angel, stunned. “A king?” he asked. “If I had known I was a king, I would have never lived as a thief!”

Many people live like thieves, stealing honor and garnering greatness where it is not deserved, unaware that their destinies are greatness. Today, do your best to live as one destined to be a king in the age to come by exhibiting humility to all people in all situations. Greatness is your destiny. It is God’s gift to you.

CHAPTER FIVE

The Longing for Intimacy without Shame

ioned the human heart to long for intimacy with Him and with others. God’s dream has always been to share His heart with us in a way far surpassing anything we know or can imagine now. God created us with a profound desire to fully know and to be fully known without shame. Consider that the One who created everything knows every movement of our hearts and He wants to share His heart with us. Our value to Him compels Him to invite us into this mysterious realm of nearness to Him. God satisfies this longing by revealing His heart to us and by com- municating how much He truly does know us. We only enjoy a down payment of this reality in the current age, but we’ll experi- ence the fullness of it in the age to come.

For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know just as I also am known. (1 Corinthians 13:12)

This mutual sharing is an expression of God’s affection for us. Without this, our lives would be exceedingly lonely. Henry

David Thoreau said, “The mass of men lead lives of quiet des- peration.” Most people live with a devastating sense of loneli- ness in this life. Tragically, they live without sharing their joys and sorrows with anyone. We were created in such a way that loneliness severely breaks and bruises us. This is not God’s plan for us. Rather, God’s people are meant to have intimacy and unity with each another, because the Father has permitted Jesus to pour His glory out on us now in part, and in fullness in the age to come.

That they all may be one, as You, Father, are in Me, and I in You; that they also may be one in Us…the glory which You gave Me I have giv- en them, that they may be one just as We are one…that they may be made perfect in one… (John 17:21-23)

Because of Jesus, we can have no fear of being left to expe- rience the mysteries and the ups and downs of life alone. This longing for companionship will be answered partially in this age and fully in the age to come. The Father is the one who first observed that loneliness is not good for the human spirit, re- marking in Genesis 2:18 how “it is not good that man should be alone.” This truth was not communicated as a criticism of solitude in seeking after God in private, but regarding loneli- ness. There is a huge difference. The human heart craves inti- macy; therefore, the enemy seeks to exploit this by bringing us down many avenues that offer a counterfeit intimacy which in turn brings shame. The irony is that when we accept what the enemy offers, we minimize our chances of experiencing real in- timacy, leaving ourselves open to loneliness even in the midst of multitudes. In loneliness, Satan can destroy people much more easily.

Think of the person you respect most in life. Imagine the joy of knowing they desired you and trusted you enough to re- veal their deepest secrets to you. Well, God trusts us with the deep things of His heart. It seems unimaginable that such a great

God longs to be intimately connected to broken people. It is re- ally an indescribable privilege.

More than 2,500 years after Adam and Eve were first in the Garden of Eden, Moses wrote their story in the early chapters of Genesis. Moses pointed to the glory of married love when he described how God brought Adam and Eve together to become one flesh. He emphasized that they were naked and experienced no shame.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25)

Another 1,500 years after Moses wrote this, the Apostle Paul gave additional insight into Moses’ account. Paul knew some- thing about God’s heart that Moses did not know. Paul quoted Genesis 2:18 in Ephesians 5:31-32, applying it to the spiritual relationship between Jesus and the Church. The creation of Adam and Eve to become one flesh is a prophetic picture of the way that Jesus will be joined to His church. Paul referred to this as God’s great mystery. Spiritually speaking, being naked and unashamed means all the secrets of our hearts will be fully un- veiled. We will have no shame before God when this occurs.

For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a great mys- tery, I speak concerning Christ and the Church. (Ephesians 5:31-32)

When I was very young, I remember a certain situation that recurred over and over with my dad. As one of triplets, I was sort of known as the strong and feisty one. It seemed to me that of the threesome, my brother and sister did everything right while I was the one who messed up a lot and got in trouble for it. Though I was still young in my thought processes, I distinctly remember feeling the shame this brought to me as I

said to myself, “Oh, Deborah, can you just do it right for once?”

In the midst of this accusation, after blowing it again, my dad would always call me to him. “Honey, come here,” he would say. My insides would churn as I scolded myself inwardly for having messed up again; I would groan in resistance to the fact that I had to face my dad as a failure again. The last thing I wanted to do was walk over to him, feeling ashamed and embarrassed for my behavior. In my childish mind, I reasoned that my dad was mad at me. I assumed he would reject me because, once again, I didn’t measure up. Without too much choice in the matter, I would reluctantly drag myself over to my dad.

On his knees, waiting patiently for me, he would put his arms around me and look at me eye to eye. Once again, just like every other time this happened, we would go through the same process. He would wrap his arms behind my back and I would press with all my little girl strength against them, shame causing me to want to distance myself from him. Unable to meet his eyes, my head would turn back and forth over and over to avoid this encounter.

Yet every time this happened, my dad did the same thing. He would ask, “Deborah, why are you resisting me?” Then, because I was so ada- mantly pressing against his arms, he would loosen them and I would fall to the ground. Each time, this fall would only add to my already stinging embarrassment, forcing me to stand up again to face my father. I have to get this over with, I would think, so I’d better just look him straight in the eye.

As I finally met his gaze, he said the same thing every time. The first thing out of his mouth was, “I love you. I love you.” All my emotions and reasoning would argue. “No Dad, you can’t love me now; I just messed up again. You are supposed to punish me, not embrace me. I can’t receive your love right now. It’s too much. Maybe when I do things right for a while and clean myself up, then you can hug me and tell me you love me. Right now I can’t accept it; I’ve been too bad.”

Though the process took a long time, my dad’s persistence had a dramatic impact on me. I remember the day when this cycle was finally broken between us, and his affection won over my shame. This time, hav- ing messed up again and hearing him call me, I responded differently

than all the times before. As my dad held me, for the first time I did not resist his embrace. And when he let go, I did not fall backward but sim- ply relaxed in his arms. Excited and perhaps as surprised as I was, he said, “Deborah, look! I am holding you and you are not pulling away!” That day I realized I actually believed that my dad loved me—even liked me—in spite of my stumbling and weakness, in spite of my failures.

—Deborah Hiebert

Deborah’s story of resisting the embrace of her father is one that applies to all of humanity. Since Adam and Eve’s sin (Genesis 3), it has been the story of mankind. After Adam and Eve sinned the first time, they recognized their nakedness and first encountered that crippling thing called shame. God then fashioned garments for them as covering (Genesis 3:21). Six thousand years later, God still offers a covering for our shame, this time through the sacrifice of His Son. God was and is fully determined to draw near to us in such a way that we would have no shame in our relationships with Him.

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