INTIMACY WITH US IN OUR PAIN AND STRUGGLE

Not all intimacy is centered on joy or celebration. In any rela- tionship with profound transparency, there is pain to deal with. We fail. We lose battles. We suffer because of our own sin as well as the sin of others. In those moments, Jesus lives out the second part of that passage in Romans, the call to “weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). Jesus alone knows the depths of our longings, dreams and intentions to love Him. Even our failed intentions to love Him are seen and appreciated.

The two most powerful realities that move the human heart are beauty and pain. While we will forever be exhilarated with the beauty of Jesus, some of our greatest times of intimacy with Him will be as we fellowship amidst suffering (Philippians 3:10), as we endure pain and hardship. As there is in victory, there is an intimacy to be known and accepted in our suffering and failure. The pain of persecution and the pain of our failure actually serve as escorts to know and experience Jesus at more intimate levels. When our hearts are hurting and starving to be comforted, He will be most vivid in our experience, if we allow Him. When we are backed into a corner and He is our only way out, we enter into a sweet fellowship with Him in our struggle. Jesus is our Protector and our Rescuer—the Man who went before us and gave everything for love is near to us and intimately knows our pain. During our darkest, hardest times, when most people draw away from us, He draws closer. He holds our hand, not as one who strives in vain to understand, but as one who has truly been there and who walks through each moment with us.

For we do not have a High Priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but was in all points tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. (Hebrews 4:15-16)

Though He was a Son, yet He learned obe- dience by the things which He suffered. And having been perfected, He became the au- thor of eternal salvation to all who obey Him. (Hebrews 5:8-9)

The imperfect compassion we feel for others gives us some sort of grid for why Jesus helps us when circumstances are dif- ficult. The newspaper’s front-page photo of a newly-orphaned child brings forth a public outpouring of help. Money is do- nated, scholarships are provided, and offers of unconditional adoption come streaming in. Most seem to understand the idea of drawing near to the hurting in their times of great need. It’s a very different scenario for the person who, by negligence or willful sin, makes a mess of their life. Human compassion often fails to make allowances for the father who flies into a rage and hurts his child or the lifelong drunk who, finally sober, walks out of the treatment program with the full intent of returning to his destructive behavior. We have no desire to suffer along- side those who bring suffering on themselves by their deliberate wrongdoing.

In those sorts of situations, where people are undeserving and have in fact rejected any sort of human kindness, the offer of intimacy with God seems to extend beyond human compre- hension. God still extends an offer of mercy and grace to all, no matter how far they have wandered. Think of your own journey for a moment. Each of us, if totally honest, would have to ac- knowledge that Jesus has walked beside us through so much sin that it would be scandalous if revealed. In all of it, He covered us, protected us and offered us a place to heal.

Perhaps no individual in the Bible displays this truth better than King David. Singled out as a man after God’s own heart, David still managed to generate a fair amount of heartbreak for himself and his family. The chronicle of his life swings between great deeds for God and adultery, the founding of a prayer ministry to raising murderous and fratricidal children. David

exhibited characteristics of tenderness and underhandedness, often in the same chapter. There were probably times when David, the author of many of the Psalms that speak eloquently of the nearness of God, probably felt very, very alone…but we know by studying the whole of his life that God drew near to him even in his failures. In fact, some of his most tender Psalms were written in light of God’s nearness to him when it was clear David had failed.

In Psalm 51, David recounted his failure in detail, but closed the passage by pointing to what he had learned about the char- acter of God—that even in our sin and struggle, the Lord con- sistently draws near to us.

Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness…and my mouth shall show forth Your praise. For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it; You do not delight in burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit, a broken and a con- trite heart—these, O God, You will not despise. (Psalm 51:14-17)

God has walked us through every sin in our lives. He for- gives us, feels our pain during failure, and protects us by not disclosing the vast majority of our sin. He knows our shame- ful deeds, yet believes in us and treats us with the honor we have not deserved or earned. Now that is intimacy with us in our struggle.

There is a dimension of intimacy extended from God’s heart to ours, even when we are doing wrong. It is the most radical expression of forgiveness that has ever existed. While hanging on the cross in excruciating pain, humiliated before the crowd and in anguish over the coming separation from His Father, Jesus extended His love far beyond what any human could ever expect. “ Father forgive them…” Those three words are the mark of a heart set toward intimacy, even in the face of unprecedented

difficulty. They are the words spoken by One who deeply de- sires to partner with us on the deepest level, even on our darkest day. He truly does want to know us in both our successes and our failures. To embrace only the former while ignoring the lat- ter is really not intimacy at all—it’s convenience.

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