EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

It is possible that a scientist can see the future by watching four-year-old children with a sweet. The researcher invites the children into a playing room. You can have this sweet right now, he says. But if you wait while I go out for a few minutes, you can have two sweets when I get back. And then he leaves.

Some children grab the sweet the moment he is out the door. Some wait a few minutes and then give in. But others are determined to wait. They cover their eyes, they put their heads down, they try to play games.

Then the researcher returns, he gives these children their sweets. And then, science waits for them to grow up.

By the time the children reach high school, something remarkable has happened. A survey of the children’s parents and teachers showed that those who as four-year-olds were strong-minded enough to hold out for another sweet generally grew up better adjusted, more popular, confident and dependable teenagers. The children who couldn’t resist the temptation were more likely to be lonely, easily frustrated and stubborn.

Why does natural talent develop in some people and disappear in others? This is where we recall sweets. When a child could resist the temptation, it was a triumph of the reasoning brain over the impulsive one. It is a sign, in short, of emotional intelligence.

In his book “Emotional Intelligence” Daniel Goleman says that brain power as measured by IQ actually matters less than qualities of mind like understanding one’s feelings, empathy (being sensitive to other people’s feelings) and the ability to manage your own emotions. EQ is not the opposite of IQ, they compliment each other. Among the factors of success, researchers generally agree that IQ counts for 20%: the rest depends on anything from luck, to social class and emotional intelligence. In the business world, according to personnel executives, IQ gets you a job, but EQ gets you promotion.

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