Aggressive Communication

Aggressive communicators use the word "you" a lot. Sometimes aggressive behavior can be confused with assertiveness. For example, a manager who thinks their employee is being too passive might say, " YOU are not assertive enough. YOU need to be more assertive!" As a result, the employee is likely to think the manager should be less aggressive. Assertive people tend to use the word "I", instead of "you". An aggressive person is domineering and can damage relationships. A manager who is aggressive can be hard to work for, because they are insensitive to other's feelings in getting their own needs met. Unlike a passive person, in a conflict situation the aggressor will resort to fighting instead of freezing or fleeing.

Example: Your employee comes in late a few days in a row. An aggressor may respond by standing in the offender's cubicle and loudly saying: "You need to get here on time!" For someone who is aggressive, this means learning to hold your temper, considering your employee's space and feelings, and speaking in a more respectful way.

Aggressive Verbal Characteristics:

• Fast, loud, sarcastic, harsh, or condescending voice.
• Uses blaming words, name calling, and threats.
• Frequently uses the word "You".
• Says things like, "You're useless", or
• "I don't have a problem, you do!" or
• "You haven't finished that yet?"

Aggressive Pointing Manager

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Aggressive Body Language Non-verbal Characteristics:

• Intruding into other's space, staring, fist clenching.
• Pointing, Impatient strides, leaning forward.
• Arms crossed, scowling, jaws clenched.

Aggressive Beliefs & Thinking: I'm only looking out for myself.

Or...

I'll get you, before you get me.

Positive Effects of Aggressive Communication

• You feel in control and things tend to go your way.
• You feel powerful and are less vulnerable.
• You get others to do your bidding.
• Your mind is released of tension.

Negative Effects of Aggressive Communication

• Tend to need to release the tension of feeling inferior by putting others down.
• Unstable relationships are created as others resent or find it hard to be around you.
• Low self-esteem, guilt, shame, paranoia, and fear can result from your behavior.
• You will find it hard to relax when always trying to control others.

Aggressive Manager

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